It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
