Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
