those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
