im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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