she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
