I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
