There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
