Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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