how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
