awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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