Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
