Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
