I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
