I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
there is glitter all over my balls
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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