took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize