omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
