ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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