It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
