I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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