i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
