you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He did a backflip because drugs
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
