Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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