White coat. Heels.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize