My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
