everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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