About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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