Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize