I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
