my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
