Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We are two peas in an std pod
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize