we're chasing vodka with high fives
ugly people sure do ruin things
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
