p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
