My underwear smells like fireworks.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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