Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
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