I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize