I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
