craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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