i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
