I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
