On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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