drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
