Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
