dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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