yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
