i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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