hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
