Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize