i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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