I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so let's talk penis.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
