I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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