Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize