is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
