New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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