this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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