i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
