fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
