My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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