remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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