Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Is Oprah even human
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
