i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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