I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
