i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
