i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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