I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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