I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
