True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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