I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
