I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
