you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize