do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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