she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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