Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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