So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize