im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
