At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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